Thus far I've spent my evenings in Hovd translating additional poems by poet L. Olziitogs. I post here one of my favorites from her book The Practice of Loneliness (Ганцаардлын Дасгал / Gantsaardaliin Dasgal) in its original and first draft English versions.
***
Уулыг хараад би уул гэдгээ мэддэг
Униар мананг ажаад үүл гэдгээ мэдэрдэг
Бороо шивэрсний дараа өвс гэдгээ сэрдэг
Богширгоны жиргээ эхэлмэгц өглөө гэдгээ санадаг
Би хүн л биш
Од дүрэлзэхийн цагт харанхүй гэдгээ мэддэг
Охид нимгэлээд эхэлмэгц хавар гэдгээ санадаг
Ертөнцийн хүн бүрээс гагц хүсэл л үнэртэхэд
Ерөөс амгалан зүрх минь загасных болохыг ойлгодог
Би хүн л биш
Өнгө өнгийн тэнгэр дор аугаа их ХООСОН,
Өнөөдрөөс эхлээд би, зөвхөн...
***
I look at a mountain and know that I am mountain
I observe mist and perceive that I am cloud
After rain sprinkles I sense that I am grass
As soon as the sparrow's twittering begins, I remember
that I am morning
I am not merely human
When a star flares up I know that I am darkness
As soon as girls shed their thick winter clothes, I remember
that I am spring
When I smell only longing from every person in the universe
My ever more tranquil heart understands that it is a fish's
I am not merely human
Under a multi-colored sky the immense VOID,
From today on I, only…
© Lisa Fink, 16 August 2007
Nice! Really, really nice. Please share more with us. And tell something about Hovd!
You're not missing anything in UB, believe me. Hope your ride out wasn't too trying. And be on the lookout for a tall German guy -- likely my friend Axel.
Posted by: Konchog | 2007.08.16 at 08:19
Lovely poem -- wish I had enough Mongolian to know it in its original. Did you get to Olgii yet?
Your new roommate is my sister-in-law. We were lucky to come out to Mongolia back in 2004 -- and will be back in February.
Thank you for helping more of us access the work of some incredible poets. I enjoyed your previous post, too, and think your thoughts on translation are right on.
Andrew, Meg, Momo + Jozsi
Posted by: Andrew | 2007.08.17 at 13:12
Hi, Lisa!
Incredible. Your translation is just so great, it sounds exactly like it is in mongolian.
Looking forward for more,
Posted by: rd | 2007.08.17 at 23:56
Thank you for that translation, I really like it a lot.......I'm sorry I'm responding so late to it.....
Andrew
Posted by: andrew | 2007.09.01 at 10:12
Very nice translation. I have not read much translated work in English, but I have never thought about translating Mongolian poem to English in such a way that it rhymes like in Mongolian, I mean, rhymes in the first syllables. Thank you!
I have (may be silly) suggestions: would you consider shortening the "winter clothes" part, or is it really how close it gets in English? I am also a bit confused abou8t the meaning of "би хүн л биш" since it may mean also "I can be anything but human". Thanks again!
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Your poem and translation are very cute. You have a potential of being a good writer. Keep it up!!
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Beautiful poem.
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